St. Patty's Day Tourney: Headlines and Match ups

Welp, it’s that time of the year again folks…..St. Patty’s day is upon us and so is the 2nd annual debaucherous 25 minute flip cup tourney. The hype to this year’s festivities have reached level records with a 32 team tourney, 15 expected kegs, a whiteboard, a referee, and coverage from ESPN the “Ocho”.
Here’s a look at some of the most intriguing first round match ups and tournament headlines.

1. WILL A CHAMPION FINALLY BE CROWNED?
It’s been 3 years since The Degenerates/degenerationnation.com moved into 57 & 4th and we’re still awaiting our first flip cup champion. Whether it’s been the police, the booze, the lack of, or just plain stupidity nobody’s left with the belt. Still, to everyone’s amazement unit 4 claims that the title belongs to them.
“It’s my house, so I make the rules. If you don’t like them you can fuckoff. Another word and your team will lose its spot in the tourney.”
Righhhhhhhhhhhhhht.
*********
Vegas odds had the tourney being completed at 20 to 1.
For this to happen a number of things must go down.

1. The Degenerates MUST make it to the finals. If they’re not there who knows if they’ll have enough motivation to complete the tourney. I really don’t want to picture them losing. I can’t decide if it will end in heartbreak or housebreak but in some way shit will hit the fan.

Picture Team Ivey losing a case comp to 31 homeless teams. Or 123 Lets Blaze losing in a bole ripping contest to The Girls Next door. Or the Quebecqueers not being the biggest homos around (why do they take pride in this).

All I’m saying is that I don’t want to be anywhere near the Degenerates during any of their matches. If I’m matched up against them, I will forfeit. I don’t need to witness a murder, nor be a part of one.

If you want this tourney to finish, let them pass through.

2. The underage bar tender/referee chick who was hired straight out of Sammy’s last week cannot fuck up the beer nor get arrested. On the subject of girls, pouring beer on a white t-shirt is an acceptable method of drinking.

3. When (not if) the cops come, give them a spot in the tourney. Too many times people sketch out when they show and bounce. Why not have a spot slated for them in the bracket? It only makes sense. There’s no way they’ll turn it down. If they’re on the same page as us I can’t imagine more than a 3 minute meet and greet with them before their on their way.
Actually I’d like to see The Degenerates take the down cops 4-0 and then all get arrested. (That would be more classic than a Mel and Mike Little simultaneous ejection from a Forest Hill hockey house league game.)
But of course that would end the tourney, so let’s all be legit to the pigs and have donuts waiting.
****************
For all intensive purposes let’s say all the aforementioned take place, leading to the FIRST EVER CHAMPION.
Congratulations to the champs for doing enough blow to not feel any affects of alcohol.
Now the question is who will contend for the belt…

2. THE FAVOURITES

Team Jayden. Enough said. I don’t know who else is on the team. It doesn’t matter. Vegas Odds 6 to 1

The Degenerates – Yes we all know it’s their tournament. If ROZ can figure out how to flip they should be heading to the finals. But that’s a BIG if. Vegas Odds 4 to 1.

Team Steam - They’re veteran 5th year flippers and have already taken down a golf tourney this year. Watch out for these sickos. Big Question: In which round will Wizzle’s banters turn to jibberish…..If it’s after the 3rd round than they’re good to go….. Vegas Odds 8 to 1

3. THE DARK HORSES
1. Beer Factor (Phil Zuker, Jesse Farkas, Dave Chajes, Colt Haywood)
Vegas Odds are paying 25 to 1. Throw your money on them
If you had an award for the most random team these guys would win hands down. But besides being 4 singles merged into 1 team they could be a force in the tourney.
Since no team has ever won this tournament I’m going to make up my own formula for success. These guys have met the criteria.
Have someone that’s a blood relative to Jayden. There’s no explanation needed.
Having zero team chemistry and zero experience together. It’s clear that no team has won that’s had experience so it’s gotta be a curse.
Big Question: Will it be a problem that the players will forget their teammates names throughout the tourney?

2. Half Empty (83 St. George # 17) – The only 4 man 4 year house in London history. It’s fair to say that these 4 have accomplished nothing together as a house, (except a yearly poker game) and in that span and have gathered enough hatred for each other to fuel an African tribe. Well, WHAT’S THE POINT VENTURA??
Only this! ……..These 4 can fuel that bitterness into a 25 minute tourney and for the first time in 4 years can make something positive happen as a house. I really would not bet against them. These guys were up 3-0 to the Vaughan Panthers, completely blew it, and then gathered up enough balls to win it in 7. Seriously these guys have heart: When they want.
The Big Question?: After a startling injury can coach Jack “Landen” Adams switch flip his team to the finals?

3. The Girls Next Door (sam, Jamie, jen, Emily)
These girls are on their home court. Nothing phases them. These girls are good. They’re reminding me of the ’91 Twins. Very resilient. I did however see them spying on The Degenerates during their daily flipcup workouts. So spygate controversy may arise.
The Big Question: Would they give up their tivo/PVR for 1 day for a shot at the title. I say yes. Vegas Odds 32 to 1

4. THE NO SHOTS IN HELL

All Day (165 Ann)
I’m having a tough time understanding the meaning behind their name. Does it refer to the youtube video when the guy blazes all day, or is it referring to how these fuckers slept ALL DAY through the tourney last year. Who says that this year will be any different? Are they even gonna show up??? Do they even drink? How did these girls get a spot in the bracket to begin with? What a disgrace…. Vegas Odds: 250 to 1.

Wyked Scepter (Jared Shoychet, Ryan Sax, Ryan Perlus, Sped)

We’ve all heard of the curse of the Black Pearl, The curse of the Bambino, but what you haven’t heard about is the CURSE OF THE COMPLEX. For 3 long wintry years these men roamed unit one: Shattering snake aquariums, jumping off balconies, stealing pizza pockets, cheering for the Titans, puking and pissing on the newly seeded grass, and of course dismantling barbeques. The lords of the 57th Complex would not let this go unnoticed. Not only would their pipes burst in their new home over reading week but they’d be eliminated in the first round of the St. Patty’s day flip cup tourney 2 weeks later. Their “Drink Hard…Flip soft” motto would only last them 6 games in their old stomping grounds. A disappointing yet fitting end to their time at the complex. Karma had caught up to them. The CURSE OF THE COMPLEX lives on. Vegas Odds 275 to 1

Quebecqueers
They named THEMSELVES the Quebecqueers. They don’t have much going for them other than a massive left nut and some inner team beef over a female Quebecqueer (which could be a highlight match up if they both miraculously make it out of round 1). As well, at the 57th and 4th tourney we use large red cups. Not pussy blue shot glasses from Montreal. They will not be able to adapt to this change, and given the incompetence of these 4 lads (These are the same guys that chose Montreal over this town, and are still sticking to that fucked up decision.) I find it nearly impossible for them to make any noise in the tourney. Bring your green hats. Queers.
Vegas Odds: 180 to 1

5. Other important First Round match ups
4 Guys 1 Cup vs. Team Tyler Peikes
Should be a cakewalk if 4 guys 1 cup use apple juice. I’ll take them in 7

Team Ivey vs. Swallow don’t Spill
Otherwise known as the worst team name vs. the best team name. Honestly, who the hell would name their team Team Ivey. Imagine if every team were as hurting as these girls. It would sound something like this. TEAM BMOS FINANCE VS. CHAT APPLIED HEBREW TIGERS…..or……TEAM PHILOSPHY SOCIAL SCI ROOM 3018 VS. TEAM MIT 221. Make sure you’re dressed in green and not your ivey attire for the tournament. Swallow don’t spill in 6

Team Lexi vs. Team Amanda
I’ve heard rumblings that Team Lexi is bringing in 2 or 3 subs. That would call for immediate disqualification. (On another note isn’t great that the Chajes’s have 3 different kids playing on 3 different teams. I was hoping they’d all play on the same team. I guess that was out of the question) Team Amanda in 5

Angry Penguins vs. Thirsty Camels
Last years surprise team vs. 4 trustworthy girls. Khazzam chirping with his new haircut will be enough to throw them off their game. Angry Penguins in 4


I’ve wasted a shit load of time writing this. See you Monday
- Beer guy

A glimpse into the mind a of a degenerate

So Im siting here watching an episode of Room Raiders, nursing my hangover, and the Feral Child came and delivered a Club Sandwich. Ever excited I open up the standard Styrofoam container to discover that my bread had not been toasted. The fact that someone made a club without toasting the bread is boggling to the mind. Who doesn’t toast a club? I would call them retarded but after my 1st year experience in the huron cafeteria I know that retards can toast a club.

A want a girl with fake tits – maybe im just not observant but it seems that UWO has a serious lack of girls who have gone under the knife. Im sitting here, watching an episode of Room Raiders and this girl has a pair of what are clearly silicone chesticles. It made me realize that I have yet to hit a girl with artificial funbags. That has definitely be put on the top of my ‘to do’ list. Putting the pun aside, it is definitely something I’ve got to pay attention too. This makes me realize something about myself. This post, combined with the nicest ass poll, has illustrated that im not very observant.

That Club Sandwich – although not toasted – was quite delicious.

- Take a guess

What happened last night

So im sitting here watching an episode of gay Next nursing my hangover and then it occurred to me. I cant remember anything past midnight last night.
I remember going to the OHM fashion show. I left at the intermission, which was probably for the best considering everyone around me wanted to kill me. Apparently heckling and yelling at fashion shows is not appropriate. No one told me that, and when you factor in the last show I saw was Howie Mandel in Vegas, who absolutely thrives off heckling, I was creating quite the fiasco. After being asked to quite down by all those around me I figured it was time to get out of there. Brownboy and myself hit the road and made the requisite Ice, Smokes, and Redbull pickup and then continued to predrink.
If anyone has any idea what took place after the above events please leave a comment

- I know i went to 29
- My cab got stuck twice on my way there

The Degeneral

The Degeneral - Thoughts on The Poll

Well Reading Week has come to an end. Now begins that mass migration of young adults back to their respective learning institutions. For those who drive, the journey can be filled with adventure and excitement, doobies and mcdonalds, traffic and poor-visibility. Students may travel great distances on their migratory route in order to reach their destination.

What this means for us? St Patty's is right around the bend and as depressing as this sounds, there are less then two months of school. After returning back to school and checking the Blog the Degeneral was quite intrigued with the 'who has the nicest pooper poll'. No poll has yet to generated so much controversy and attention. Here are the results of the 2008 Nicest Bum Competition.

Before we get started I would like to say something about the nature of this poll. Firstly, one thing to keep in mind that how many times a person may have voted for a certain individual. I know for a fact that Kruger voted for Dre at least 6 times. Secondly, all candidates should be proud and honored to be on this list. All you girls are sexy as fuck and should take this as nothing but a compliment. There was great debate put into coming up with this list and I would like to personally say that all of you (with the exclusion of dre) have exquisite behinds. With that said, lets get to it.

#1 - Rebecca "White Lips" Goldstein - 18%
From the outset, people were suggesting White Lips as a candidate for the list. A clear front runner from the very beginning. The Degeneral has encountered the White Lips on more then one occassion however I tend to be BOD during these interactions so I cannot really recall the state of her tailpiece. I guess this means I'm really do for a second look.

#2 Tara Vasev - 16%
A was quite shocked by this result. Not because of Tara, because there is no denying the pleasing nature of her rear-end but because I barely know her. I was friends with her back-in-the-day and if things have not changed since then, there is no denying that she has a well deserved position on our poll. ;)

#3 Chloe Wade - 15%
Whats better than a sweetheart with a sweet-ass? Not much and that is why C-Wade faired so well in the poll. The only good thing about her leaving you is watching her walk away

#4 Carly Gallinger - 13%
The only surprise here is that Carly did not produce more favorable results. With an ass you can open a beer with, my only regret is that this blog does not have pictures*

#4 Marissa Daniels - 13%
Tied for fourth place Marissa made a late run in the poll to reach her place in the standings. Although a very elusive individual the sheer reputation of how nice her ass is propelled her into the standings. Its a shame that she never takes it out to play.

#5 Dominique Ven... - 4%
Everyone can agree that this is quite a shocker. Dom was a favorite from the beginning to win this poll. I believe the low results are actually a sign of the notoriety her booty has. When voting, guys pass over it assuming that half of the other degenerates out there are gonna vote for her and I being a true degenerate am gonna throw my vote somewhere else.

Now obviously Dre was left out of this passage. Thats because making fun of Dre is way to easy. Like the way when he takes a shit he sits like A.C. Slater or that he wipes his ass towards his balls.

The Degeneral Signing Off



* If any of the contestants would like to send in pictures please email westernflipcup@hotmail.com

a response to update

After reading this post it came to my attention that upon my last visit to Wendy's a similar problem came about. But with that said, these same problems occur constantly at every fast food establishment in the entire world. Between McDonald's, Wendy's, Harvey's, Arby's, Burger King, Taco Bell, Dairy Queen and any of those sick filthy fast food joints I've forgotten, I can barely remember the last time I got good service. And I'm not looking for service with a smile, or a guarantee that no one is spitting in my fries; Alls I'm looking for is a little common sense. I mean seriously, I never make a big deal about it at the time, but every time I come home with a fucking spoon for my baked potato or a banquet burger with no cheese I get one step closer to formal complaint. Granted once I eat the sugar laden fast food meal I quickly forget all about complaining, and instead fall into a trance like state of fast food delirium. AHHHH the sweet satisfaction of sugar and salt clogging my vital arteries. leading my favourite symptons, say it with me now "Nausea, Heartburn, Indigestion, Upset Stomach, Diarhea, hey Pepto Biz- is that Chajes's mom?" No!! its not my fucking mom!! Anywayz... back to the real problem, the source of all this controversy, those burger flipping, chicken grilling, grease slinging, pop drinking, bacon frying executive assholes at the Multinational Fast Food Corporations that employ dudes who are too stupid to remember their names so they get it tattooed on their arm or neck. It is this lack of discrimination in job placement that perpetuates shitty service and the incoherent thought process that leads to me getting croutons instead of peanuts with my ice cream.

In summation the fast food industry has seriously lowered the bar when it comes to service, and the next time someone messes up your order, dont get mad, upset, or irritated, get even by messin with their heads. Simply stop and consider the fact that there is a reason that this specific person is working the McDonald's drive-through at 3:30 AM and its not cause they enjoy the clientèle. So next time, instead of complaining, read the persons name off their neck or name tag, and strike up a conversation... ask them about their respective opinion on multinational corporations who marginalize their workers through systemic oppression. And when the person stands in silence with a bewildered look of confusion on their face, you can drive away happy knowing that you successfully brain fucked them.

UPDATE

**** I Just Went to Wendys ****

But more importantly after receiving my order I noticed that I had not received a coke but instead a sprite. Now anyone who knows me knows how much I love the coke... nevertheless i withdrew from the requisite tantrum demanding a free meal and instead though maybe I would enjoy this sprite.
After returning home, and not having sprite for many years, I have decided that it taste like absolute bunghole without Vodka. Needless to say I was forced, by the Wendy's corporation, to add vodka into my drink in order for me to consume the meal I had just purchased from said corporation. Now its 3:00 pm and Im half buzzed all thanks to those turd burglars at Wendy's

****** 7 DAYS LEFT TO REGISTER FOR FLIPCUP ******
westernflipcup@hotmail.com

The Degeneral Visits Sin City

For Students Reading Week represents an opportunity to do almost anything but read. Many decide to travel to more tropical climates and enjoy some hard drinks and hard bodies on the beach. Others use this opportunity to hit the slopes and enjoy plenty of powder both on and off the hill. The Degeneral, on the otherhand, used this opportunity to take a rite of passage that is required for all young males in western culture. That of course being a trip to Las Vegas. The city is entrenched with the very roots of the debaucherous behaviour. Gambling, free-booze and prostitution. These are the very pillars in which Vegas was built upon on, as well as some of the basic principles of the Degeneration Nation. The Degeneral was going to spend the next 4 days of his life there.

First thing that one must understand about Las Vegas is that your experience their in relation to the time elapsed has no bearing outside of anywhere except Vegas. It's kind of like the island on Lost but we will get into that later. From the very beginning the trip had the makings to be epic. An initial group of 5 of us was to fly on two separate flights from Toronto at 8:55pm on Sunday night. And 3 more would make the drive from L.A. a day or so later.

The best thing about flying at night is that it is socially acceptable to get hammered. I hate flying in the morning because everyone looks at me like an alcoholic. At 10pm im just looked at as a heavy drinker.

After checking in the group does the obvious and hits the bar. The worst things about airports these days...

... no its not the security, no its not the ridiculous lines, and no its not the fact that you cant bring toothpaste on a 13 hour flight. Its the fact that airports no longer have smoking rooms. Look, im all for isolating smokers so people dont have to smell second hand smoke. I hate second hand smoke. I love first hand, but i hate second hand smoke. But that doesnt mean I should not be allowed to enter a vacuum sealed room with poor-ventilation thats jam packed with other smokers and take 15 minutes off my life. That is my choice and the choice of all the other people in that terrarium of life...

... Anyways, im a few pints in deep, longing for a smoke, when who walks into the bar? None other then two of my buddies from school - and where are they going? Vegas baby vegas. So these two guys, who we will call Anthony and Lbow, are actually on the other flight with the rest of my team. We continue to pound the beer and eventually part ways. Me and my buddy who from here on out will be reffered to as The Flash boarded our pain and continued the drinking.

I dont know what it is about drinking on planes but it definately gets you more bombed. Maybe its the air, maybe its the altitude but dude, after 6 Canadians on the plane and a few rounds of 1 vs 1 Flip Cup I was feeling it. Needless to say, the flight flew by and in no time we were landing in Vegas - it was 1:15am Vegas time. By 2 we were checked in and on the floor. The absolute most beautiful thing about vegas is that there is no last call and there is no natural light. At 3:00 am it might as well be 3:00pm and no one can seem to tell the difference.

Now this was the Degeneral's first time ever really gambling, I'd played poker both casually as well as online but never in a casino. And as fate would have it I would never even touch any cards. The Flash, who I owe greatly for this, spent the first 25 minutes of his trip teaching me the basics of Craps. By 3:00 am I had $2bills on the table and having the time of my life. - OH by the way not only are all you drinks free, all your cigarettes are free ... I was ordering Double GreyGoose and Redbull with side of Marlboros. - So night one is floating away when at 4:00 my Blackberry goes off. Whose calling? None other then Anthony and Lbow who are at a club with bottle and booth, and not only that they've ran into two more our friends from school. So I part ways with my travelling partners and hit cab too the club. After greasing my way in I join up with my buddies and proceed to get BOD.

At some point, which I assume can be no later then 6 am because thats what time the club closed I heading back to the Casino on my way own. I remember being surprised and somewhat disappointed that I was never solicited by a prostitute. Eitherway after re-entering the Casino and enhaling that oxygen enriched air I sobered up (relatively) and went back to the craps table. Now the next 4 hours are the most inebriated and unintelligible of the trip but also possibly the most significant. From 6 until 11 I managed to win a G playing craps. This money would be used to fuel my debauchery, and possibly others, for the rest of the trip.

Next thing I know the Blackberry is going off again, The Flash has arisen. I cashed out and headed off to breakfast.

The events that followed breakfast are nothing more than vague flashes for me. I know we went for a walk a long the strip where Im not sure but I may have been singing "Glamorous" by Fergie. I remember sitting in a comfortable chair in a store for way too long and being asked to leave. And next thing I know i was on my way up to my room. It was now just past noon. Day 1 was officially over. At least in vegas time it was. Little did i know i was to wake up in 4 hours and continue my scientific experiment how long a body can function solely on alcohol, caffeine, and cigarettes.

***** TO BE CONTINUED
COMING NEXT - DAY 2 IN THE CITY OF SIN