Thanks to a strong effort in the first 2 weeks of 2008, quarterly projections indicate a 150% increase in partying in comparison to relative figures of 2007. The alcohol is flowing, and the inhibitions of complex members have reached an all time low of zero. While this would indicate an obvious loss of dignity and self-respect, both factors have actually remained stagnant over this period. Some argue that this kind of reckless alcoholism is unhealthy, but this reporter will instead raise a glass and purpose a toast to the blatant disregard of the liver and all those who stand in our way.
In other news, this morning marks the 37th week of missing complex member Jocelyn (Thibault) Weisharr AKA Jweisz. Last seen on the premises in April of 2007, search parties have found no leads and are no closer to solving the mysterious disappearance. One former house mate told us that before she left jocelyn said "she was sick and tired of being sick and tired..." In a midst of racial slurs and inappropriate language, one member of unit 4 has suggested in his southern accent that " the white cracker ass whore 'spoon-tenaciously corn-busted" (spontaneously combusted), and upon my dismissal of that possibility, he began yelling profanities at the camera. The lack lustered efforts of the search party will continue into the new year and everyone here is hoping for some kind of closure, everyone except for the livid gentleman from unit 4 who maintains his position.
Check the ticker for the latest
notable quotes from the last week
" I'm a total fuckin' weirdo, but he's so much more retarded that I just fly under the radar"
" Sure Michael Richards is a sick filthy racist, but Kramer supports Obama, explain that."
1 comment:
Im a big fan of the first quote. The feral child makes everyone under the radar. That guy has lost his mind
De
Post a Comment