The Degeneral Strikes Again - a typical pregame

Like most, I have always thought I had a purpose in life. Some underlying path that only I was meant to take. Never, in my wildest dreams, did I expect to be walking the path I am. I always thought my purpose lied outside of hedonistic experience and debauchery. But as my short time on earth has proven, little else can remain a central part of my being as much as fornication and fraternization. Sure there are outside endeavors and pursuits but nothing that we attack with such intemperance as going on a free-living, hell-bent blowout. Very few things ignite the passion that can be seen in an individual going through a night of degeneracy. It seems that me and many others are quite adept at the high-living indulgent life style that tends to be reserved for rockstars. Below is an outline of the typical night of a Degenerate.

7:30pm - Open first beer.
- The first beer of the night has the ability to wake the party animal inside of us all. You arise from your burnt out stupor and begin thinking more clearly. Usually corresponds with a puck-drop of tip-off.
7:45pm - Second beer.
- With the second beer one finds whatever one is doing has gone much more exciting. Your voice begins to rise slightly and you find yourself subconsciously clapping during moments of exhilaration
8:00pm - Three Beer
- At this point you are speaking like you are standing in front of a classroom. Word annunciation become emphasized and at this point your talking at a level that would wake up anyone in your house if they were not also talking at the same level you are.
8:15pm - Beer #4
- The initial activity that got you drinking (such as a sporting event) now takes second place to generally tomfoolery that is often followed with some form of drinking game (or drinking athletics as I like to call it)
8:40 - 9:00 - Beer Me A Shower
- Ahhh the shower drink. What a great time can be had half-buzzed with a full beer in the shower. You better expect some singing and probably some dancing. This is one of those only times were you absolutely comfortable with anyone barging into the shower. In fact, you pretty much want it to happen just for shits.
9:00-9:30 - Beer 6 - Being a DD - a drunk dresser
- After the shower, grab another beer, and have your requisite smoke after shower. At this point the tunes start blaring and you face one of the biggest decisions of the night, what to wear. Drunk Dressing is a skill that can only be learned over time. People who are not used to it can often have unforeseen and often unforgettable results with critical articles of clothing missing or backwards. To be a successful drunk dresser you have to devote yourself to it. That means a serious regiment of getting drunk every time you get dressed. Yes, that includes breakfast. How else are you going to learn? I mean I know beerios are cliche but they can really help you in this endeavor.
9:30 - The Prejizz
- At this time you head once again to your respective common room where the noise from the television has been replaced with laughing and arguments over irrelevant issues. It's time to get off that beer shit, you know what they say beer is a lot like making love in a canoe*. Pick your poison, Vodka with Fresca and Redbull is my personal favorite but what do i know.
10:15 - The Pregame
- Now some of your closer friends have begun to arrive. No longer is it just you and your housemates but a growing contingent of degenerates. Doors are open. Smokes are smoked. And it is a wonder how the cops are not here yet.
10:45 - The Predrink
- Boys and Girls are now celebrating in there degeneracy. Introductions are made, inhibitions go down the drain, and deathmix goes down the throat. This is often seen as the best part of the night. The hour or so where everyones together before entering the high intensity atmosphere of the bar or club. After leaving the predrink you may never see these people again so cherish the time you have...


Next Week... The Return of the Degeneral - 12:00-2:30> The Bar, 2:30-6:30 > The Post Drink

* It's fucking close to water