secondary persona

As the title suggests, this posting will discuss the idea of secondary persona's. To many of you this term might be new, and some might think I'm simply talking about medically determined illness like bipolar behavior or schizophrenia. unlike those diseases, this kind of secondary persona is much less serious and is commonly brought on by the over consumption of alcohol or marijuana. If you're starting to see the bigger picture, you may know someone with this hilarious tendency.
throughout my high school and university career, my friends and I have spent numerous nights testing the effects of alcohol and marijuana sometimes separately and sometimes together in order to find the perfect dosage to create the blissful point of "absolute intoxication". This point that I speak of is rarely reached because you usually find yourself hugging the bowl, slurring your words or passing out on the nearest floor. In our attempts to get fucked up beyond all recognition, on a search for a "Zen" like place that doesn't exist, we have come perilously close to alcohol poisoning many times.
But I digress, this article is about the hour or 45 minutes right before the boiling point of puking or passing out. It is in this time period that a few of my friends guys and girls have shown the ability to leave their bodies and minds entirely and allow some subconscious entity to take control and handle the decision making process on what promises to be a sloppy ride. This foreign entity is what I like to call the secondary persona but for the sake of writing, I will refer to the Secondary Persona as SP. Usually the SP carries attributes that are totally out of sync with your friend's regular characteristics.
In some cases the alcohol induces extreme violence, destructive tendencies, or extreme depression and your former friend becomes unapproachable without serious risk of danger or long boring conversation. At other times the SP actually becomes a pretty good person to party with. Your once shy awkward friend is now the party animal he or she has always wanted to be. Now the conscious mind that was holding them back has drowned in pool of alcohol and weed smoke and the SP is embracing the spotlight. With the SP in control, the people around take notice and girls often create a name for this previously unseen side of their friend, usually "drunken ______ (insert name)" because they aren't creative enough to get a jokes name going. the males self-proclaime nicknames like the suave-dog, casa-nova, Jewy the Jew, Smashley, tequila-rosen-coke'enblatt, or slightly easier names like Karl and Doug become the title of this rising star. His or her once quiet demeanor has turned into a brilliant source of one liners, jokes, and shows of alpha male dominance or in the case of girls the ability to dance all night in 7 inch heels and the courage to chirp a guy who you otherwise be intimidated by. Their pick up artistry is suave and confident, and the guy who could never seal the deal now has his choice of half the brods in the room and the reserved little girl who would never flirt with a guy is now grinding with guys like she's on BET uncut....
Unfortunately for the guys, the SP baller has no interest in women beyond a sloppy make out here or there, because the SP's real interests lie in continuous drinking and partying in order to maintain control. for women the problem is created by their friends whose jewish motherly instincts pull the blossoming young SP away from her beau and take her home to bed. Guys don't have friends who will take us home and spare us the embarrassment of hooking up with a brod you thought you slayed with the precision of a sniper rifle at the time, but in-fact you were wearing a welders mask and you were actually using a harpoon to reel it in.
Sadly, the over consumption of alcohol that once led to fame and fortune is now the flaw that will lead to his inevitable demise. The peak of his stardom comes and goes and the night crawls slowly to the end at which point our once legendary rocker SP has spilled 3 drinks on himself, turned down 2 women who were interested, and is left with 1 thing. The bottle of booze he started the night with. He carries the empty 26er in hand until he smashes it for one last rush before he stumbles home with the smell of alcohol and weed emanating from every pore.


Of course this can be changed and as friends it is our responsibility to make sure that friends were drinking with don't get out of hand. but if you ask me, who wants to party with a negative Nancy or shy guy when you know there is an SP baller waiting to come out from behind the curtains of soberness??... so to all of those who really only get to hear about your cool swinging Secondary Persona from your friends the next morning, i raise this glass to you, cuz god willing we'll be partying together again soon.