A Tale of Two Towns

Remember in grade 12 when you had to make the monumentous decision of deciding what do after highschool? The options seemed endless: victory lap, university, college, mcdonalds...There seemed to be so many alternative routes, so many paths to take, all leading in different directions, all paving the way for a potentially bright future. However, as highschool ended, mostly all of us jumped on the same train headed to the exact same fucking stop..The University of Western Ontario. A few people tried to be different and they took the next train to Montreal where they enrolled at McGill. Now the problem with trying to be different is that everyone tries to be different. So while everyone is trying to be different, all they really end up doing is becoming the same. Though most people ended up at Western, McGill still acquired a good number of people. These two schools became polarized by a tension that split them into two distinct groups.

Over the course of 4 years of university, a number of variances between these two groups has become clear. While Western is home to a team of intellectually roudy partygoers, the McGill group has come to be defined by their ornate homosexuality and their propensity for all male pre drinks. A favorite pastime of McGillians (as they like to be called) is fellating one another. President of the McGill chapter, birdly turtick, has been quoted on more than one occasion as saying "We do it big at McGill, we sing like no ones listening, we dance like no ones watching and we love like we've never been hurt, we dont' really care what people think of us...we just do who we want, how we want, when we want."